I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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