it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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