"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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