evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
