I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
