U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
