absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
