I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Vodka?
Forever.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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