You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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