In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
