Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
