where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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