can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
