So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I want to be your penis for a week.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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