talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
