just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
