One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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