It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
