I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
