Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
one two three fourrrrnication!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
