if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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