Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
