Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
