Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she smelled like a LAN party
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
