I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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