He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
