He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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