What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
