I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
