his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
