Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
