they need to just BURY HIM!
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
