We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
