Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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