Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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