i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
