I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
