What a fucking waste of an outfit
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
