I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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