So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
