why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
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