I cannot find my penis.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
