he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
