what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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