I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
is it fun? or sober?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
