It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
