12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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