her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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