I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize