yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
